See the Good, even in the Worst


The Prompts

Now that I am single-ing and going out, the primal instincts kick in to want to look good and feel confident in attracting the right company, not necessarily to attract a convenient companion to pick up my tabs or to fill the vacancy. When we attract the right company – friends, lover, pets even! –  we are one step nearer to being authentically happy.

I am packing my makeup box with proper makeup. It was a waste of money for me to buy a good set of full makeup tools and products when I only used them a few times before they expire; it is now an affordable investment in a ‘pick me up’ enhancement.

I was researching online on loose powder. My favorite brand was Bobbi Brown and MAC for face powder, but things have changed since I discovered Korean skin care and cosmetics. They really suit me better.

The downside is that I am unable to test the shades of the loose powder. I am certain that I am fair skinned – a former colleague described that he thought he saw a ghost when he parked his car and saw through the pantry window where a ‘glowing’ white thing stood, yeah, that would be me, apparently, I am so fair, I ‘glow’ when light shines on my skin; I am not so certain if I belong to the Korean/Japanese fair white, or less tanned Asians. That kind of classification is confusing to me. The product page says that #21 is for fair skin; #23 is for common Asian women or darker skin. I cannot be more confused, since I don’t know what is ‘common Asian women’, does it mean yellow undertones (which I think I am), but I am definitely not ‘darker’ skin.

The Online Seller

I decided to post a question to the seller, but before the reply came, I ordered both shades. (They are really very affordable!) The seller replied afterwards that I should go for #21 for Korean/Japanese fair and #23 for tanned. I replied politely with thanks for the promptness of response and that I had ordered both shades, if either doesn’t fit perfectly, I can always mix the two to test the shades, and that I looked forward to receiving the purchase. The seller responded quite defensively. She (or he) asked not to mix the powders as there may be uncertain outcome of the color (up to this point, I agreed and appreciated the heads up), and that I may blame her that the product is no good.

Whoa! That’s very quick to assume the worst!

The Taxi Driver

This reminded me of another incident that happened many years ago, with a taxi driver (I’d probably blogged about that, then).

I took a taxi to work in the morning. I didn’t have enough cash with me, so I asked the driver to please stop by the petrol kiosk where the ATM machine was. (The taxi here runs on meter, stop or not, the meter still runs) Unexpectedly, the driver gave me an earful. He sounded angry. The ‘lecture’ started with a sarcastic tone, and ended with an exclamation mark.

“Sure! I can stop as many times and at anywhere you want. Don’t complain if you were late for work, or if your boss scolded you or whatever, ok? It’s not my fault if you were late!”

I said ‘ok’ with a mellow tone. After withdrawing the cash, I bought boxes of curry puffs and chicken pies from the kiosk. I asked the cashier to pack 2 puffs in a separate bag. I went back to the taxi. I apologized for the delay, and handed the bag of curry puffs to the driver. I spoke like the ‘lecture’ didn’t happen. I told him that the curry puffs from this brand were super tasty, and I bought extras to share.

The Shift in Attitude

His tone changed immediately. He declined politely for my offer of the puffs, and said that he knew the curry puffs from this brand were more expensive. I insisted, and said that it must be fate that I got into his cab and that he was kind enough to accommodate to my request. I convinced him that the puffs would be perfect during his coffee break, since taxi drivers don’t always have the luxury to have a proper meal.

The Confession and Apology

Minutes passed. He broke the silence by explaining why he was being defensive earlier. I assured him that I bore no grudge and I understood (still do). Passengers can be very difficult; people can be difficult and unreasonable. People blame people when things go wrong.

The Impact and Hope

I don’t think I can change his opinion and response mechanism forever, with just one gesture. I hope it shed a dim light of hope in people that we can reset our mindset to believe (again) that human kind is capable of kindness and goodness.

We can never know what happens to the person after the conversation ended and we left. We can only believe that perhaps, like how he had impacted me into seeing things from a different perspective; I may have impacted him in restoring faith in people.

The Outcomes – Karma in Immediacy

He gave me a small discount on the taxi fare; I gave him extra instead.

When we throw a good shout out, it echoes back. Echoes are in multiplicity. The way I look at this, I think I have gained big!

The Colleagues

I was early at work that day. It was an interesting (good way) way to kick start a day. When I handed out the puffs, a few colleagues responded (individually and separately) with, ‘what’s the catch?’. I thought ‘thank you’ would suffice, at least I thought normal people do that. Even when I assured them that I just bought extra, because it was one of my personal favorites. Joy sharing feels good, simple as that. (Sharing, on my terms, I don’t appreciate people picking food off my plate.)

The Hope

It is however, sad to observe that people are quick to criticize, doubt, judge and choose to deny good.

The online seller, was too quick to assume the outcome that has yet unfold. We don’t always need to cover all bases, we just need to attempt one question at a time, and let the whole thing plays out.

As an online seller, I believe I am highly susceptible to a similar behavioral entrapment. Fortunately, I am a very observant student, I pay attention to details and things that are seemingly monotonous.

When different things happen in our life, they teach us something new; when same things happen in our life, they are reminders that we ought not ignore.

Choose to see the good, even in the worst, always.



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